Today it was supposed to be a day full of joy, a day of
great celebration. Today you would have become
17 years old Lucas, perhaps the most beautiful age a human being can aspire
to.
Lucas, you were not here with us
today for your celebration. You are now
so far away, in inentendibles distances no living being would ever reach, but
those who die; they really die only when they are forgotten. I will never forget about you Lucas; so in my
heart and mind you will never die, and my dying spirit will be always wearing
your powerful smile.
I miss you so very much, Lucas...
Today a burning tear sat on my
heart all day long, blazing my spirit and making difficult for me to breathe
without sighing. That morbid and aggressive
tear filled every corner of my existence with sadness today.
In clear nights, I look at the
flickering starts that upholster the sky looking for your bright, sincere and
undying smile, because that honest and ample smile of yours Lucas is about the
only thing that can surely drag me through this cheerless glitch of existence,
which I charitably call it "life".
Today was specially sad and
tearful Lucas, but the memories of your loving and vibrant life always manage
to recue me at the end of the day. I
miss you so much, son...
I too often think that hope is a near-useless tool,
which never produces a solution. Hope feels
like the sun in your face when you walk towards it, but then, the sinister shadows
are casted behind you so you cannot see them. Too many of my hopes and dreams of you, followed
your spirit into the infinite, and in clear nights like this one, I strive to
find some of them tangled and windswept among the never-ending starts.
In
spite of the mortal wound death so violently struck my life with, I want to
think of death as the subtle gate to a new freedom. In the flower, death sets free its perfume;
in the frail chrysalis, death give birth to a butterfly; and in you my beloved
son, death has set free your invincible spirit, armed with your never dying smile.
I
miss you so much Lucas.
Dad.