Death took you away from us, Lucas. I do not hate her, I just want to talk to her because on day, she will come for me, and I do not want to be afraid of her anymore.
Thanatopsis - One idea, a thousand thoughts
I often think about death. Death is supposed to be a definitive, but
natural event. Many times it is not; like
the death of Love that never dies of a natural death. These acidic thanatognomonic thoughts assaults
and ambushes me very often, especially since the sudden, painful, and
spiritually anaerectic death of my beloved son Lucas Martino. Thus I learned to die being alive, to be able
to live being dead.
A little over ten years ago I had a close encounter with
death. She came to find me on a clear
morning of icy fire and blistering snow, and not hiding on the dark shadows as
people think. She came peacefully and
without anger, and she stared into my eyes. But I knew that the secret of death is hidden quietly
in the placid and silent spirit of the life of the present. Then I spat on her face, and getting my
anabiosis; she had to leave; although I know she will not do it forever.
Death is a faithful comrade who always accompanies us silent
and devout until the end of our journey. Sometimes it comes close, and sometimes it
goes away; but she is always ready to make her harvest. I know she will come back for me some day, and
there will end this rough and sweet run of my life. And like a tree dried forever, the calendar of
my wall will no longer have leaves, neither yesterdays nor tomorrows. That is why I believe that every new day I
wake up alive is a ridiculous extra courtesy that death gives me. We love life and hate death, and this is
because life is a beautiful lie, and death a painful truth.
What is the nature of death during life?
I believe that death is the formula of understanding what
constitutes our own existence, because life is the disappointment of death. The death of man through his existence
determines his finitude, and it is the undisputed and axiomatic metaphysics to
conceive and understand that man, at the divergence of any other living entity
in the vast expanses of the Universe, is the most severely affected and
disturbed specimen by the irreversible destructibility and reality of death.
I have concluded that even though that it seems morbid, a
man who has passed through the most bitter experiences, suffered impossible
losses, endured the most destructive scourges, tolerated the most devastating
blows of Fate, and survived the most brutal and biting scourges of the Fatum; he
undoubtedly learns to enjoy even his deepest and most sickening sufferings. This happens to me.
Perhaps death is the explanation of the existence itself. Death may be the door to the order of
nothingness or total unconsciousness, or the conclusive journey of the spirit
into the inconceivable remoteness where it will vanish forever. Is this the nature of death during life? For it must be because "Vita est Fidelis
ad Mortem" (life is faithful to death). Yes, and our life is faithful to us, but only until
death.
For me, death has no subjective meaning because
philosophically we have to speak of it in a metaphorical way since within the
unreality of death, it is real and unidirectional. She is unreal during our life, but becomes
real when it arrives. If we were born to
die, then what is the meaning of life? That
is why it is not easy to determine the nature and meaning of life, and perhaps
death and its concept have no subjective meaning because they are a completely
empty notion that lacks presence. Death
will have a philosophical meaning, but it has no subjective meaning. We should not take death seriously, it only
happens once in a lifetime.
The perception and effect of what is death have a coherent
sense and a disconfirming function for living humans, however; Death itself has
no use or meaning for itself. Like the
rest of the living beings on the planet from their inception to their Omega, I
only know one thing about death: their arrival is the beginning of total
absence, of absence without consciousness. But what is absence without conscience? If absence without consciousness is total
nothing, then how do we detect it? How
do we measure total nothingness? Death
brings us its absence without consciousness, but we cannot detect it because
death is dragged away when it takes herself with itself.
Questions
If death is eternal and life is only a fleeting sigh in the
infinite mantle of time, then; what is the true value of life? Is it the value of the truth, or the truth of the
value? Is it the absence of the eternal,
or the eternal absence?
Is there a more
important moment in life, or is life the most important moment of death? Is it to be aware of the absence of
consciousness, or is it to have an unconscious absence of consciousness? What then are Time, Death and Consciousness? These cannot be general terms because time,
death and consciousness are always particular to the individual. It is MY time, MY consciousness, MY death...
This is the true diathesis of life. So, will my death be the beginning of my
greatest adventure?
Like the rest of the living beings on the planet from their
inception to their Omega, I only know one thing about death: their arrival is
the beginning of total absence of consciousness. Perhaps the end is then the beginning of the
beginning, and the beginning of the beginning is the end of the end. Consequently, does death cause anything to
matter, or nothing to matter? Is life a
natural wealth, or is it an artificial death?
The question prevails: What is the value and nature of death
during life? This question is for you. Do not try to rationalize this question
because rationalization is the lie we tell ourselves, and it is what we use to
mask the warnings of conflict in our consciousness. We must remember that true human integrity
does not need laws.
Then ask yourself: What is
the value and nature of death during My life?
Your Father